Teddy Bears
by Cecainah
Summary: It's very hard to end a relationship when you're already lenient to you partner. What if in your 5 years of relationship you never heard him says those words you long to hear and decided to end it here even if a life is in exchange of that decision.CCXLL
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey their readers, wait I'm so sad of this fic. Please just read it and don't mind me.**_

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**Teddy Bears**

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_I admit it that Lelouch is a sweet and romantic guy, every month he gave me a teddy bear, different color and different sizes, in our anniversaries he gave me numbers of life size teddy bears and when valentines he gave me also five different sizes and colors of teddy bears. My room is almost like a teddy bear paradise, starting from the doorway to the bathroom, full of cute bears, but still something is missing I never heard him tell me he loves me. Neither to the things he gave me, nor to the phone calls and text messages did I receive. Our five years relationship seems like it is not true. I decided to end it here. It hurts me more every time I think about it, it always made me…_

She is cut off by the tears that she suddenly feel rolling down her cheeks, drops on the picture of Lelouch she is holding. She tries to stop the tears on falling down, but the tears itself have its own life, urging to escape her eyes, but as seconds, minutes has passed she calmed down.

Following the plan she decided to make, she reaches for her cellular phone lying comfortably in the bed; she sits next to it, placing the picture beside her. Dialing the number of Lelouch seems so hard to do; it is like something is holding her back for doing so. But preventing her to feel any more uncertainty is the best way she can least do to erase the doubts occupying her.

As soon as she clicks the dial button, shivers started to roll down her whole body and only a matter of seconds passed when Lelouch picks it up.

"Hello, C.C." She feels the happiness Lelouch had in his handsome face; from the cheery tone he spoke it is very painful for her. Calling him just to tell that she wants to break up is very stupid of her. Silence just feed him in response.

"Hello, C.C.? Are you still there?" when he heard no reply from her, he started to worry. "Hey, are you alright, C.C.?" Lelouch asked in a panic over the line.

"Ahm..Yeah. I am" she answered, doing an excellent work of hiding her swollen voice.

"Why did you call of a sudden?" he asked in a deep voice.

"Can you come over?" she said, gripping the phone in her hand, not letting any emotions surpass her composure.

"Well, if my witch misses me that much, can I said no" he said sweetly that it hurts her more, biting her lower lip and closing her eyes hardly to control the tears not to emerge.

_Please don't appear, please don't do it to me, follow my command you stupid tears._

To her surprise, she manages to stop the tears from forming in her delicate amber-eyes.

"I love you" she unconsciously said, and there she was literally shocked that the phone happens to slide out of her hand and taps out of the floor with a clear 'thud' noise. Her eyes as wide as an owl's and when she thought that maybe he cut the line off, she reach for the phone and heard him said that.

"I know, C.C.. Wait for me there okay, I'll be there in any moment" He has a bright smile in her face, but he somewhat feels heart aches for an unknown reason. He feels like there will be something bad or may be worse that will happen on him this day, but he doesn't mind since he will be seeing his witch. "Bye" and he clicked the end button.

She freezes instantly in that word, hand with an open palm extended near the phone. She discarded the thought about getting it and places her hand on her chest with a clenching fist. She sits there still, allowing the silence to dance with the air, bowing her head down and her bangs barely covering half of her face.

"Yes…Goodbye, Lelouch" she hissed under her breath. This was the word she wishes not to hear, a lonely and sad word of Goodbye. She can't help but let her guards down and cry.

*20 minutes passed*

Lelouch knock at the door of C.C.'s condo unit and after several more knocks, still no one approaches him from the outside so he decided to open it himself when he find it unlocked and barge in. He proceeds to her room, only to find her mess up and crying. He quickly runs to her leaving the things he carries aside. He holds her in the shoulder, and gives her a worried look.

"C.C., why are you crying? Is there something wrong? Tell me" he queried, mad worried why she is crying like this. But she isn't answering back. He wants to take all the pain she has, he don't want her to suffer and be the one to suffer for her. He wants her to be happy, joyous and stay as she always is teasing but very loving.

He hugs her tight, he can't take it when he sees her like this, and it hurts him badly, that all he can do is nothing. C.C. just stays leaning in his chest, crying unsoundly.

"There, there, C.C.. Tell me is anything wrong?" rubbing her back for comfort.

"Lelouch…" she mused heavily, not wanting to say any word, not wanting to break off, but this is fate she needs to say it to prevent the pain from growing in her heart.

"Yeah?" he replied in a gentle tone he can heave as possible.

"Let's…let's break up" quite holding back in every words.

"Stop saying nonsense okay?" annoyed in her response that she can say such things like that when there is already something wrong in her.

"I'm serious. Let's break up" she pushes him away from her and moves away from him.

_I'm sorry Lelouch but I can't bear anymore pain. This should stop or else I'd rather die._

"But C.C., why is there something wrong that I do, that it doesn't please you? Tell me I'll instantly change it." He stands up and moves to her holding her in the arm.

"Don't touch me" She cried in a mild tone and slaps away his hands of her arms

"Don't do this to me, C.C." he begged to her, nearly crying.

_Please Lelouch stop this, I can't see you in such pain, it is hurting me too, please go!_

"Get out of here, now" She said simply covering her emotions by the mock anger she is presenting.

"But C.C."

"Please" she pleaded to him, voice all swollen and mess up.

Lelouch move to him and caught him in a kiss, but for C.C. it seems that this is a good bye kiss, the last kiss that she will receive from him and it all ends from here, from the kiss. Lelouch pulled back and asked her.

"Do you love me, C.C."

_Idiot! I'm doing this because I love you; I love you more than anything._

"No, everything in the past is all a show" she answered simply, bore no life at all.

When Lelouch heard this, he was on an extreme rage. He can believe that their five years of relationship is just nothing but a complete lie. He clenches his fist as he punches the wall beside her and when he pulled his arms back to him, his fist seems so broken, and it bleeds massively. But C.C. can only stare at him, she isn't allowed to do anything because they are done and if she does anything she might not end this thing.

"It does hurt very much when it comes out to your mouth" he said, he was crying, he is bursting in pain, but the woman he loves can't do anything nor to care if he is bleeding. He stands up, finding himself numb. He immediately left her, left this house, left his heart and left his love. He don't know what to do, it is very dark in his view.

After she found no trace of him anymore she cried, she cried as if there is no more tomorrow when he is not by her side. His teasing, sweetness, stubbornness, and his caring she will miss it all.

"I truly love you Lelouch"

A couple of hours already passed, she still can't get over with him. Indeed, she really really loves him very much. She is spacing out, remembering the moments when she and Lelouch is together, when her phone rings out of the blue that it disturbed her from sentimenting. She picks it up timidly.

"Hello" she said in a swallow voice.

"C.C." Suzaku mused in the line in a very sad tone.

"Yes, Suzaku?" she interrogated him, worried why does his voice eems controlling something.

Suzaku sobbed, his voice is broken. "Le-lelouch…" and there he completely cried.

C.C. is more worried one, when she heard Lelouch's name, tears again is fighting over her eyes.

"What happened to Lelouch? Tell me, Suzaku" she cried, gripping the phone hardly in her hand, scared and frightened what does that sobbed mean.

"H-He committed suicide." Suzaku stated while crying, phone all wet in his tears running throughout his eyes.

C.C. is terribly shocked of what she heard in the phone, the tears itself voluntarily flows in her eyes like a river, shivers travels in her whole body and her senses all gone numb; it is as if all her sensory neurons died and her body becomes like a living corpse, hot at the outside but cold in the inside.

"No…No…That is not true, it is impossible. Suzaku stop saying that! Lelouch can't possibly do thing such as stupid as to suicide." She cried helplessly, not believing Suzaku and his words and she stands up from her bed.

"I too can't believe that he can do such thing like this." He replied sniffing all the time, while conversing with her in the phone.

"No, that isn't true, Suzaku. Please stop that."

"C.C., he leave a note that says, life is nothing without you" and there their conversation ended as Suzaku press the end call button.

"Lelouch, committed suicide because of me, because of my selfishness." she ended up on her bed wherein all the teddy bears that Lelouch gave him are laying. "Only because he didn't say those words I want to hear, I broke up with him. How can I do this to him?"

She picks up all the teddy bears and throws it hard against the wall. It all talks and said the three words she long to hear. 'I love you' are the only words that echo in her room_. _She looks at every bears it all talks and said that words she wishes him to say to him. It made her feel guiltier, killing the one she loves is very painful and when she knows that the relationship they had is genuine and pure love. She wants to kill herself but she knows that Lelouch won't be happy in that thought. She directed to the bears all scattered in the floor, she reached one and hugged it tightly in her chest. Tears won't stop from flowing out her eyes.

_All the while these bears are his messenger of his love for me. You are a very stupid man, Lelouch, stubborn I may add._

She shouted, she cried, but the pain won't stop from hurting her more as the bears won't stop from telling those words. All she can do is said his name with her heart in it.

"Yes, I love you too, Lelouch, I truly love you. Please come back to me, Please I beg you, come back!" She exploded while she burst out crying, it is like his is crying her throat off of her. "Come back now, please" Suddenly she felt someone hugged her and Tell her for the last time "I love you to C.C."

**_Finish_**

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_**A/n: I'm so sad when I am typing this, it makes me cry in this thought. Sorry for giving you a sad ending, because a want anew, because a sad story gives off more meaning and emotions. Though this is a nonsense I may add. But still this story gives me more importance of our favourite couple and this makes me realize that it is very sad when any of the too died. Anyway hope you like it. R and R ^^**_


	2. Chapter 2

**__****A/N: this is a revise version. I change the reason why Lelouch died.**

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**Teddy Bears**

_I admit it that Lelouch is a sweet and romantic guy, every month he gave me a teddy bear, different colour and different sizes, in our anniversaries he gave me numbers of life size teddy bears and when valentines he gave me also five different sizes and colours of teddy bears. My room is almost like a teddy bear paradise, starting from the doorway to the bathroom, full of cute bears, but still something is missing I never heard him tell me he loves me. Neither to the things he gave me, nor to the phone calls and text messages did I receive. Our five years relationship seems like it is not true. I decided to end it here. It hurts me more every time I think about it, it always made me…_

She is cut off by the tears that she suddenly feel rolling down her cheeks, drops on the picture of Lelouch that she is holding. She tries to cease the tears from falling down, but the tears never know what an order is and instead keep on urging to roll down. Seconds, and minutes has passed but her sadness to no avail.

Memories of her and him together keep on replaying and flickering in her confuse state. Lost in trance of word best describes her. Her mouth agape and tears never give a damn second to stop from coming out; she is just lying in her bed arms spread so as her clothes and green locks. Staring at the ceiling is she whilst her left hand still holding a picture of her mate.

_I know these sounds selfish, but if we still continue this, nothing will come out; we'll just hurt each other._

"Right, Marianne?" she asked no one in particular. Her voice hoarsed with pain and emits a despair feeling like this will be the end of all. She holds the picture close to her chest, controlling the pain that shelters her heart.

She sits up from her proneness in the bed and reaches for her cellular phone lying next to her. While the picture of him rested in her lap to accommodate herself from dialling his number, but on the other way around it seems to be so hard to even apply force on her fingers from pushing a lone button; it is like something is holding her back from doing so. But preventing her to feel any more uncertainty is the best way she can least do to erase the doubts occupying her.

As soon as she clicks the dial button, shivers started to roll down her whole body and only a matter of seconds when Lelouch picks it up. She tries to calm herself if possible.

"Hello, C.C." She feels the happiness Lelouch had in his delicate visage; from the cheery tone he emits, this results to the stiffening of her hands. Calling him just to tell that she wants to break up is very stupid of her. Silence just feed him in response.

"Hello, C.C.? Are you still there?" when there was still no reply from her, he started to worry. "Hey C.C., are you alright?" Lelouch asked in a panic over the line.

"Ahm..Yeah. I am" she answered doing an excellent job from hiding and covering up her hoarse voice.

"Why did you call of a sudden?" he asked in a deep voice, seems like he already have a hint of the situation and felt awkward at the moment.

"Can you come over?" she said, gripping the phone in her hand, not letting any emotions surpass her composure. She closes her eyes hoping that this will end as soon as possible, the last conversation she'll have when the both of them still can be called as couples.

"Well, if my witch misses me that much, I won't decline the offer" he said sweetly that it hurts her more, biting her lower lip and closing her eyes hardly to control the tears not to emerge.

_Please don't, tears._

But to no avail, her tears fall.

"I love you" she unconsciously said, and there she was literally shocked that the phone happens to slide out of her hand and taps out of the floor with a clear 'thud' noise. Her eyes widen tenfolds and when she thought that maybe he cut the line off, she reach for the phone and heard him response from her statement.

"I know, C.C.. Wait for me there okay, I'll be there in a moment" She can sense his bright smile in her face, but he for some reason feels heart aches stabbing his chest. He forefeels that there would be something bad or even a worst occurrence this day. Nevertheless, he doesn't mind at all since he will be seeing his witch. "Bye" one last word he bids to her.

She freezes instantly in that word, hand with an open palm extended near the phone, she is put on that position for a matter of how many seconds, before she discarded the thought of getting it and places her hand on her chest with a clench one. She sits there still above her bed, allowing the silence engulfs her, bowing her head and her bangs to barely cover half of her face and to hide her tears from falling.

"Silly, I never thought that word will affect me again after leaving a hell of immortality...yes..Goodbye, Lelouch" she hissed under her breath. This was the word she wishes not to hear, a word that recalls her tribulations from the past, the suffering of seeing your love one dies as the time pass whilst you are still alive and witnessing others bidding their goodbyes. She can't help but let her guards down and cry, cry for Lelouch.

*20 minutes passed*

Lelouch arrives at C.C.'s place faster than what is usual. Standing in front of her door, he hesitates not to knock at the door first to be show respect to the owner and to be polite at the first place. Thus, after several loud knocks, still no one is present to accompany him; therefore, he decided to open it himself when he find it unlocked and barges in. He find the place too organize for such a messy girl. It made him carve a smile.

Thinking that the witch he knew just a few years ago, was very unethical, unorganized, witty, and likes to leave others under the question 'why?'. He heaves an edible laugh at that matter. He loves C.C. so much for him to bear her flaws like this.

He proceeds to her room, and is utterly shock on the stumbling teddy bear paradise, but to his surprise, he finds her mess up and crying. He quickly wounded his way to her and leaving anything he carries aside. He grasps her shoulders and gives her a worried look.

"C.C.? Oi, why are you crying? Is there something wrong? Tell me" he queried, mad worried why she is crying like this, she is sobbing continuously like she is experiencing too much pain. "Oy, C.C.?" But she isn't answering back. He wants to know the reason behind his tears, if only possible he would want to take it away from her and be the one to suffer instead. He wants her to be happy and stay the same like before to experience the true meaning of life after all what she experience in her past.

He hugs her tightly in his arms, he can't take it anymore when he sees her like this, and it hurts him badly, that all he can do is nothing and watch her suffer. He gives her a kiss on her head whilst she just stays leaning in his chest, crying unsoundly.

"There, there, C.C.. Tell me is anything wrong?" rubbing her back for comfort.

"Lelouch…" she mused heavily, not wanting to say any word, not wanting to end it all, but changing her mind in this state is not possible after all that happened she can't back off, now.

"Yeah?" he replied in a gentle tone he can heave as possible.

"Let's…let's break up" quite holding back in every words and can't incorporate if this were the proper words to say.

"Stop saying nonsense okay?" he is annoyed in her response, hence, that she can still say such things like that when there is already something wrong in her.

"I'm serious. Let's break up" she pushes him away from her and moves afar from him.

_I'm sorry Lelouch but I can't bear anymore, you are causing me too much pain._

"But C.C., why? Did I done something wrong? Done something that it doesn't please you? Tell me I'll instantly change it." He stands up and moves towards her holding her in her arm.

"Don't touch me" She cried in a mild tone and slaps away his hands of her arms. She pertains him a look of distaste.

"Don't do this to me, C.C." he begged to her, nearly crying.

_Please Lelouch stop this, I can't see you in such pain, it is hurting me too, please go!_

"Get out of here, now" She said simply covering her emotions by the mock anger she is presenting. Lelouch lifted his head, only for her to see that he is already crying can't hold back anymore.

"But C.C."

"Please" she pleaded to him, voice all swollen and mess up.

Lelouch moves to her place and force her for a kiss, but for C.C. this serves as the last kiss they will share, the last kiss that she will receive from him because everything ends from here, from the kiss. Lelouch pulled back and asked her.

"Do you love me, C.C."

_I do, I really love you._

"No, everything in the past is all a show. You are of no use to me anymore" she answered simply like they never shared memories before.

When Lelouch heard this, he was on an extreme rage. He can believe that their five years of relationship is just nothing but a complete lie. Well, what he can expect towards a witch is a lie, a very stupid decision of him to bestow his trust and love to a witch. He clenches his fist to control his anger, but to no avail possible. He was fooled by the most important person in his life. He unconsciously punches the wall beside her; she heard the loud impact of his bones crashing through the concrete surface of the wall. For a matter of several seconds he stays still and when he reverted back his arms, his fist seems broken, bruises everywhere and it bleeds massively. But C.C. can only stare at him, she isn't allowed to do anything because they are done and if she does anything she might not end this thing.

"It does hurt very much when it comes out to your mouth" he said, he was crying, he is bursting in pain, his eyes are empty but the woman he loves can't do anything nor to care if he is bleeding. He stands up, finding himself numb. He immediately left her, left this house, left his heart and left his love. He don't know what to do, it seems like he is jailed in a dark tunnel, can't see any present light to help him out. He is deeply wounded by her words.

After she found no trace of him anymore she cried, she cried all herself out as if there is no more tomorrow, as if crying her lungs out, life is nothing when he is not by her side. His teasing, sweetness, stubbornness, and his caring she will miss it all, he will miss Lelouch.

"I truly love you Lelouch"

At that moment she let all the emotions that she thought she had forgotten a long time ago was coming back, but was cut off when she heard her phone rings.

"Hello" she said in a swallow voice.

"C.C." Suzaku mused in the line in a very sad tone.

"Yes, Suzaku?" she interrogated him, worried why does his voice seems holding back something.

Suzaku sobbed, his voice is broken. "Le-lelouch…" and there he completely cried can't hold back anymore, but to give in.

C.C. is more worried one, when she heard Lelouch's name, tears again is fighting over her eyes.

"What happened to Lelouch? Tell me, Suzaku" she cried, gripping the phone hardly in her hand, scared and frightened what does that sobbed mean.

"He was caught in an accident; he was hit by a car and now was." Suzaku stated while crying, phone all wet in his tears running throughout his eyes.

"Tell me Suzaku he is alright, tell me please?"

"He is already gone C.C."

"Wat do you mean?"

"He is dead"

C.C. is terribly shocked of what she heard in the phone, the tears itself voluntarily flows in her eyes like a river, shivers travels in her whole body and her senses all gone numb; it is as if all her sensory neurons died and her body becomes like a living corpse. Her mouth going dry and can't process any words to sink in, in his mind.

"No…No…That is not true, it is impossible. Suzaku stop saying that! That can't happen to Lelouch." She cried helplessly, not believing Suzaku and his words and she stands up from her bed.

"I too can't believe that can happen to him. He was trying to save the ring you given him and then he was unfortunate." He replied sniffing all the time, while conversing with her in the phone.

"No, that isn't true, Suzaku. Please stop that."

"C.C., he leave a note that says, life is nothing without you" and there their conversation ended as Suzaku press the end call button.

"Lelouch, isn't that careless of a person." she ended up staring at the teddy bears that Lelouch gave him. "Only because he didn't say those words I want to hear, I broke up with him. Now it totally ends here? If only I didn't broke up with him this won't happen, he will be here with me, conversing with each other"

She picks up all the teddy bears and throws it hard against the wall. Suddenly, it all talks and said the three words she longs to hear. 'I love you' are the only word that echoes in her room_._She looks at every bears it all talks and said that words she wishes him to say to him. Her conscience is killing her, to think that because of her stupid decision she killed the one she loves the most. It is very painful and when she knows that the relationship they had is genuine and pure love. She wants to kill herself but she knows that Lelouch won't be happy in that thought. She wounded her way towards all the bears that are scattered on the floor; she reached for the black one and hugged it tightly in her chest. Tears won't stop from flowing out her eyes.

_All the while these bears are his messenger of his love for me. You are a very stupid man, Lelouch, stubborn I may add. It is my fault for not appreciating your love. I want to die._

She shouted, she cried, but the pain won't stop from hurting her more as the bears won't stop from telling those words. All she can do is said his name with her heart in it.

"Yes, I love you too, Lelouch, I truly love you. Please come back to me, Please I beg you, come back!" She exploded while she burst out crying, it is like his is crying her throat off of her. "Come back now, please" Suddenly she felt someone hugged her and tell her for the last time "I love you to C.C."

_**Finish**_

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_**A/N: What do you think? better? review plss.**_


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